Anxious Anne

The Writer:

Singer-Songwriter. Music Minister. Boring office job-er.

Bonafide artsy fartsy, creative type… who also enjoys intellectual conversation. Constantly being torn between the two leaves me unsettled, as if the two cannot be joined – live in my objective thought or subjective feeling? Utilitarian service or individual expression? I tend to hover between extremes. One minute I allow myself to be walked over, but the next minute I am devising ways to expose every problem; and, like a drill sergeant, demand change from myself and others. Although I am fully devoted in the struggle for sanctification and perfection of my love for Jesus Christ and his way, I find shadows of his truth in other philosophies. I find the thought of seeking balance in one’s life is attractive – prevalent in Buddhist and Daoist philosophy – but really this is simply seeking to remove extremes, remove conflict, and therefore remove love. Life simply doesn’t work that way. In Christ’s example, he did not seek balance, but he sought the truth, and he pleaded his own selfish will be laid down; and, instead, be in complete submission to the Father. So rather than balance, perhaps I should seek submission.

Visit my music website: https://www.bethanyannemusic.com

This website:

Experience mine and others journeys to and from earth in this personal blogging through my navigating this relatively newly emerging thing in my life called anxiety. I say mine and others because I don’t want to make this simply about what plagues me, but I also want to bring in other voices who live with chronic issues and their stories of victory. Positivity is hard when everything is muddled within and ticking like a time bomb; when food starts to lose it’s flavor; you cannot feel the wind; or, your muscles feel weak although you’ve done nothing but lay down all day. So I hope to not bring some sort of toxic positive message, as some have within the Christian communities, but to dig into my own experience and others to bring a biblical perspective on living life to it’s utmost fullness despite “thorns in the flesh”.

This blog will also operate as a mode of accountability for me to continue going to see my therapist and get to a better place. There are too many great things ahead for me to submit fully to this.

The other night, my boyfriend and I were having a discussion about peace. I asked him what it meant, and to my surprise he said “violence”. A violent act – strong and powerful force – needs to happen to attain peace, and by this I mean a godly peace – not feigned ignorance, but completeness, shalom. And confidence. I am set out to explore what this violent act(s) needs to occur in my story.

I also am going to post my art, music, and resources acquired. I also want to collect the art and music or you out there who have funneled all your experience with mental health into art. If you have art or music that you want to share, please send it to me by emailing contactanxiousanne@gmail.com .